


The Triggering Halcy9n Days 9f 9ur Y9uth

by KonekoRyuugamine



Series: Trials and Tribulations, or WHY MIDDLE AND HIGH SCHOOL ARE THE WORST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU Skaia, Chuckle Voodoos, F/F, F/M, Homestuck AU, M/M, Shenanigans, Social Warrior Gone AWOL, au high school, buoy you cray cray, triggering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:51:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7763857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KonekoRyuugamine/pseuds/KonekoRyuugamine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The main doctrine of the troll known as Kankri Vantas was to bring equality to those who did not have it.<br/>According to him, society was in desperate need of change, what with its biased notions of blood-class association, poverty stricken masses of Derse City and massive waste of technological media.<br/>As a budding teenager in Skaia City, he felt he and his comrades could bring about this change; an illustrious and well-rounded bookworm, a triggering foul-mouthed fish, a well-dressed vampiress, his pen pal and right hand troll, and, reluctantly, a good for nothing royal purple-blooded bard.<br/>Bringing about the change will be one thing.<br/>As triggering as it sounds, embracing it will be something else completely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Triggering Halcy9n Days 9f 9ur Y9uth

causticGuardian  has opened a new memo.   
CG: greetings, salutati9ns, and g99d evening, my friends and cl9sest c9nfidantes.   
CG: i ap9l9gize f9r the 6elated p9sting 9f my weekly mem9randums. i am em6arrased t9 admit i was far t99 ingr9ssed in the tuning and p9lishing 9f my vi9lin, and l9st track 9f the time.  
CG: h9wever, i am n9w fully aware 9f the current, yet late, time, and am ready t9 6egin.   
CG: this mem9randum will c9ver the 6asics that 9ne must kn9w 6ef9re entering the 9pressive and 9ner9us educati9nal envir9nment kn9wn as "high sch99l", right d9wn t9 the minute details 9f studying etiquette. n9w 6ef9re i f9rmally 6egin, i feel i must give the appr9priate trigger warnings f9r all audiences reading this. this mem9randum will c9ntain and reference, 6ut is n9t limited t9 menti9ns 9f: 6ehavi9ral analysis, psych9l9gical analysis and the af9rementi9ned 6ehavi9ral patterns 9f d9cumented teenagers, the ensuing discussi9n and phil9s9phical impacts 9f said analyses, devel9pmental pr9gress 9f the tr9ll and human 69dy, triggering 6ehavi9rs, i.e. 'kissing', 'hugging', 't9uching', etc., quadratic 6ehavi9rs and their adequate s9cietal manner 9f dem9nstrati9n and acceptance, pr9per s9cietal 6ehavi9r, the impact 9f educati9n and the imp9rtance 9f studying and pr9per s9cial interacti9n.  
CG: n9w, high sch99l is an encl9sed envir9nment wherein we can all ass9ciate with 9ne an9ther and gr9w with9ut driving stakes thr9ugh 9ne an9ther's thr9ats, thank the heavens f9r that little s9cietal preventi9n. it is a time wherein we can dem9nstrate 9ur grasps 9f the w9rld and thus 6egin 9ur descent int9 adulth99d. already the idea 9f bec9ming a mature and s9cially acceptable tr9ll in t9day's s9ciety is making me excited, as i am sure it must 6e f9r all 9f y9u.  
CG: h9wever, with this maturati9n pr9cess c9mes the many cliched and typical pitfalls 9f y9uth. while we are n9w 9fficially identified as ad9lescents, m9re c9ll9quially kn9wn as 'teenagers', and d9 have the capacity f9r making 9ur 9wn ch9ices, i feel it necessary t9 remind and enc9urage y9u all, first and f9rem9st, t9 n9t engage in anything that can 6e deemed as 'inappr9priate', 's9cially unaccepta6le/c9ndemna6le', 'life threatening', 'illegal', 'triggering', etc.  
CG: this is read as simply as it is written, and sh9uld b6 f9ll9wed t9 the letter f9r all9tted success in these next f9ur years.   
CG: n9 9ther age range is rep9rted as having this many accidents inv9lving S9p9r r9unds, drunken driving accidents, 'gang credati9ns', and m9re distur6ingly, early virginal release and unexpected p9pulati9n increases. always gives me chills . . .   
CG: what we express as teenagers, this 'y9uthful independence' and 'p9wer 9f inc9ming kn9wledge' we claim t9 have 9ver th9se 9f 9ur genetic superi9rs, is m9re 9r less a h9rm9nal rush 9f ign9rance and 6latant disrespect f9r 9thers. theref9re we start t9 judge and assume that we, as the y9uthful maj9rity, have the upper hand in making 9ur 9wn decisi9ns. thus we, as a c9llective gr9up 9f ad9lescents, make these ill mannered decisi9ns with9ut s9 much as a sec9nd th9ught. d9 n9te that n9t all times are like this; there are a select few, such as myself, wh9 are 6lesed en9ugh t9 have matured faster and m9re excepti9nally than 9thers my age, and are ready and willing t9 guide th9se wh9 are a69ut t9 succum6 t9 the pitfalls and f9llies 9f y9uth.   
CG: 6ut again, i digress.   
callousContessa [CC]  has entered the memo.   
CC: O)(   
CC: MY   
CC: COD!!   
CC: do ya)( )(ave ANY glubbin idea o w)(at time it is?!   
CG: miss meenah?   
CC: eva)( )(eard o' somefin called SLEEP, kankersore? an )(ow glubbin GREAT it feels ta BE sleepin until ya get gobsmacked by some s)(it posts on a c)(atboard?!   
CG: ah! my ap9l9gies, miss meenah. i assumed y9u w9uld have 6een 9ut enj9ying the last few h9urs 9f what y9u called y9ur 'freed9m' 6ef9re classes 6egan. perhaps i was mistaken, f9r 9nce. d9 f9rgive me f9r distur6ing y9ur slum6er.   
CC: bite me   
CG: again miss meenah, i d9 ap9l9gize f9r waking y9u up at this h9ur, 6ut such acti9ns d9 n9t justify the use 9f triggering language. as i said 6ef9re, i th9ught y9u w9uld be 9ut and a69ut until midnight, to qu9te y9urself, "wh99ping it up 6ig time".   
CC: . . . ya)( askin me ta w)(oop yo ass?   
CG: is this m9re 9f y9ur drawn 9ut sarcasm? 6ecause if n9t, then all9w me t9 say it is very unc9mf9rta6le and rather triggering t9 hear y9u speak in such a way.  
CC: dont give two s)(rimps   
CC: 'sidez dorkazoid, i gotz betta)( t)(ings t' be doin t)(an talkin ya down  
CG: such as sleeping, i presume? 9r were y9u perhaps engaging in my extemp9rane9usly described list of 'triggering' activities?   
CC: t)(at aint )(ow you use t)(at glubbin word, buoy   
CG: irregardless!   
CC: do ya)( reel-ly wanna go t)(ere g)(ostbuoy?  
CG: and h9w, pray tell, d9es that c9mment and apparent appraisal pertain t9 this particular mem9randum? 9r t9 anything we are discussing?  
CC: well fo starters, you're talkin to almost NOBODY   
CG: i resent that n9ti9n . . .   
CC: aint no notion w)(en its true 3>8P   
CG: y9u will take 6ack that grammatically inc9rrect n9ti9n!   
CC: a)()( make me!   
genialAcademe [GA]  has entered the memo.   
GA: I was thinking of not getting involved, 8ut that last comment definitely cemented it. Hello, Kankri, Meenah. Remem8er, we agreed to not fight on the memo 8oards after what happened last time. Separate corners, you two! And no fighting.   
CC: )(ello, miss blue lipz   
GA: (Meenah!)   
CG: g99d evening, miss aranea. all9w me t9 thank y9u f9r st9pping an9ther via6le stream 9f senselessness.   
CG: th9ugh i feel i must ask, what is miss meenah refering t9 6y calling y9u "miss 6lue lips'?  
GA: Oh, nothing in particular!   
CC: dont 8e so koi a8out it   
CG: what is g9ing 9n?   
CC: butt out buoy be-fo t)(is memo turns NC-17   
CG: ugh!   
GA: She's only joking, Kankri. Nothing more, nothing less. She's just 8eing her usual, everyday Meenah Peixes.   
CC: a)()( ya)( know ya luv me 38   
CG: n9t in any quadratic way, i pray . . .   
GA: Nevermind all of that!   
GA: I guess researching modern terminology got you 8ogged down over the summer, huh, Kankri?   
CG: n9nsense, miss aranea, I have never 6een m9re aware 9f my c9ll9quial language ha6its. as a matter of fact, i 6egan keeping these mem9randums t9 stay 9n t9p 9f said studies and use these terms in a sta6le envir9nment m9re 9ften.   
CC: )(ows t)(at been workin out for ya?   
timaeusTestified has entered the memo.  
CG: quite well, and this time, i have n9t suffered as much triggering as i did the last few times. n9r has any9ne g9ne and 6anned me fr9m mem9randums f9r menti9ning impr9per acti9ns as much as 6ef0re.  
CG: 9h, f9rgive my rudeness. wh9 are y9u?   
timaeusTestified has left the memo.  
CG: . . . well then!  
CC: aint that guy t)(e def of frond-ly   
CG: indeed!   
GA: Not the first time someone's logged onto the wrong memo, 8ut that's to 8e expected when they're left 8lank. Kankri, I thought you were going to title these memos from now on after the last memo took a turn for the weird and o8sessive.  
CG: i did, 6ut it rejected the character c9unt and came up 6lank. rather disapp9inting, really.   
CC: yea)(. now we cant read w)(at ya essay was titled   
CG: mem9randum, my friend. 6ut that is a cl9se c9mparis9n.   
CC: w)(oos)(!   
CG: this again?   
GA: Still not funny, Meenah.   
CG: indeed. n9w, if y9u tw9 will 6e s9 kind as t9 let me resume my mem9randum, i still have much left t9 discuss.   
GA: I actually had a question involving your previously mentioned point a8out those who are "8lessed enough to have matured faster and more exceptionally than others" our age. Are Meenah and I somehow included in that count?   
CG: 9f c9urse y9u are, miss aranea. y9u have pr9ven y9urself time and time again as, and i will use this c9ll9quial term justly, the "sane man" 9f 9ur gr9up since juni9r high sch99l, and m9re than aided us in 9ur times 9f need. y9ur intelligence pales in c9mparis9n t9 y9ur c9mpassi9n f9r y9ur fell9w pers9n.  
CC: )(oly mackeral kankersore was sincere in a fukin compliment   
CC: i t)(ink i ran outta oxygen!   
GA: (Meenah!)  
GA: That is actually really nice of you, Kankri!   
GA: Thank you! 8)  
CG: yes, yes, i am als9 aware 9f h9w y9u will h9pefully c9ntinue that r9le as we enter high sch99l. i h9pe y9u will c9ntinue t9 guide miss meenah 9n the right path, and succeed where i have failed with her.   
CC: yo lucky yo on t)(e ot)(a side of the sc-E-En, buoy . . .   
GA: And swing and a miss.   
CG: swing 9f what?   
GA: Nevermind. So, what was it that you wanted to say?   
CG: ah, yes, my p9ints. i was a69ut t9 address the studies made pu6lic recently 9n h9w students 9ur age need t9 f9cus m9re intently 9n studies and less 9n "f99ling ar9und".   
CC: o)( My FUCKIN GLUB   
CC: W)(O T)(E )(-ELL CAR-ES?!   
CC: 3XP   
GA: Is this the lack of sleep talking, or is this our usual Meenah?   
CC: can i say BOT)(?! ug)()()( . . . dont wanna talk bout studyin n s)(it   
CG: i happen t9 kn9w s9me9ne wh9 has 6een waiting f9r my mem9randums with bated anticipati9n, mind y9u and y9ur h9rri6le 9ut6ursts . . .   
CC: w)(ats )(is name?   
CC: jerry mcw)(ogivesaglub?  
CG: heavens n9! i will als9 have y9u kn9w, miss meenah, that he is s9me9ne with wh9m i have had a pri9r hist9ry with.   
CC: W)(AT.   
CC: pull back the tides )(ere . . . tell me moa)( bout t)(is mofo  
GA: Well, this does sound interesting, given this is YOU we're talking a8out, Kankri. I thought you said these sorts of interactions were 8eneath you. 8ut this is progress! Tell us a8out this guy!   
CG: 9h, umm . . .   
CG: well, he is a rather interesting fell9w. he claims t9 6e at least 9ver five feet in height, and his h9rns resemble that 9f the l9ngh9rned c9w. his interests are varied, 6ut d9 include r9leplaying and acting. his regaling 9f r9mance, h9wever, is rather triggering, as he stated 9nce in a letter that he dated at least three girls in 9ne week in the same quadrant . . . such a pig in r9mance. can y9u 6elieve that such a tr9ll exists? 9r that he did s9?   
CC: a)()()( fis)(krill speakin ya wi$h ya )(AD that $WAG.   
CC: wait letter?   
CG: . . . n9t n9w, n9t ever. 6ut irregardless   
gutsyGumshoe  has entered the memo.   
GG: Alrighty, I'm here, Roxy! Now, what was it you wanted to talk about?   
CG: i beg y9ur pard9n?   
GG: Huh?   
GG: Golly! I must have entered the wrong memo! Sorry . . . um, you . . . I'll just let myself out now. Have a good evening!  
gutsyGumshoe  has left the memo.   
CG: at least she had the dec9rum t9 ap9l9gize 6ef9re leaving . . .   
CG: n9w, as i was saying, regardless, his letters are always a delight. i'm glad you 69th are interested in hearing a69ut my pen-pal f9r a change!   
CC: o)( fo t)(e   
CC: mention T)(AT first!   
GA: Well, progress is progress. Have you 8een in contact with him via electric messaging?   
CG: actually, yes, yes i have. i have als9 recieved a recent letter 9f his that seems t9 6ring t9 light a recent change in his l9cati9n. he will be attending skaia high sch99l with the three 9f us.  
CC: w)(ale aint t)(at peac)(y   
CG: i th9ught this was rather nice news.   
CC: shark - casm, buoy   
GA: Alright, don't egg each other on like this!   
CG: miss meenah i am n9t enj9ying y9ur t9ne 9r y9ur 6ehavi9r! y9u ave undermined my authority and refused t9 check y9ur guest priviledges when y9u entered this c9nversati9n! s9 help me, miss meenah, i will 6an y9u fr9m this mem9randum!   
CC: you aint got the gutts!!   
GA: Like I said, you two, no more of this fighting on memos 8usiness!   
calmTrepidations [CT]  has entered the memo.   
CT: :0)  
CG: 9h wh9 is this n9w?!   
GA: Oh, hello.   
CC: o)( i know t)(is db  
CC: sup bonez!   
CT: :0)   
CG: is . . . is this all he d9es? just, use these 9ff-pattern marks t9 c9mmunicate?   
CC: t)(ey called '-Emot-Es', kankle. dude uses a LOT moa)( t)(an t)(at to talk too if ya)( catc)( ma drift~~~  
CT: ( :0]   
CG: . . .   
CG: . . . miss meenah . . .   
CT: ( ;0}   
calmTrepidations [CT]  has left the memo.   
CC: a)( geez do i gotta apologize now o' you gonna yell again like befo? )(ow old are ya)( now?   
GA: Kankri, remember, we talked a8out this with Porrim. Deep 8reaths, no trou8les ahead . . .   
CG: I AM  
GA: Deep 8reath in, deep 8reath out . . .   
CG: . . .   
CG: AS . . . as, i was saying . . .   
CG: is there any9ne else here wh9 has anything else c9mpletely 96ligat9ry t9 say? any9ne else at all?  
ascendedGothica  has entered the memo.   
CG: 9h f9r the l9ve 9f . . . and what is that y9u have t9 say, p9rrim?   
AG: All I will say is that yo+u sho+uld get so+me rest, Kankri. It's almo+st midnight. And, as yo+u so+ elo+quently put befo+re, classes start to+mo+rro+w. Yo+u'll get cranky o+n the first day again if yo+u do+ no+t get so+me sleep.   
CG: p9rrim, this is n9t the place, n9r the time, t9 degrade me in such a manner . . .   
AG: This is no+t degradatio+n, Kankri. The o+nly degradatio+n taking place here is the o+ne yo+u are co+mmitting upo+n yo+urself by no+t listening to+ me. Again.   
CC: ya)( go krill!   
GA: (Meenah, not the 8est time!)   
CC: ya say somefin?   
CG: y9u are 69th aware that i can read y9ur w9rds, right? and, if mem9ry serves me right, p9rrim, y9u are N9T my m9irail. s9, this is 9ut 9f y9ur jurisdicti9n. i respect y9ur right and priviledge t9 check up 9n me in such a manner, 6ut i will have t9 ask y9u t9 never d9 such a thing again.   
AG: Then, in that regard, do+ me a favo+r, Kanny.   
CG: w9uld 6e t9 attempt t9 accept this childish nickname?   
AG: Go+ back up to+ the start o+f the memo+, and reread yo+ur lines.   
AG: Especially the o+nes abo+ut the . . . "ho+rmo+nal rush o+f igno+rance", and "blatant disrespect fo+r o+thers".   
CG: . . .   
CC: O)( SNAP!   
GA: 80   
AG: Go+o+dnight, everyo+ne. And get so+me rest, Kanny. I will see yo+u all at scho+o+l in the mo+rning.  
CG: . . . have a good evening porrim.   
ascendedGothica  has left the memo.   
CC: and on T)(AT burn, i am out. peace sucka)(s   
callousContessa [CC]  has left the memo.   
CG: . . . i shall try t9 c9ntact p9rrim.   
GA: To apologize?   
CG: n9, 9f c9urse n9t.   
CG: i merely wish t9 express thanks t9 her f9r p9inting 9ut my 9wn writings and the current h9ur. it is far past my designated sleeping h9urs, s9 i must 6e getting s9me sleep.   
GA: Heh, you're fooling no one, Kankri.   
CG: y9u sh9uld 96tain s9me rest as well, miss aranea. it is fairly late. i shall send an inquiry and acceptance t9 p9rrim f9r her 6ehavi9r and then 6e 9n with my evening.  
GA: I'm sure she's waiting for it. 8)   
genialAcademe [GA]  has left the memo.   
CG: n9w then . . .   
CG: thank y9u all f9r reading this mem9randum, please d9 f9ll9w my af9rementi9ned and p9inted advice, and i 6id y9u all a f9nd g99d night.   
causticGuardian [CG]  has closed the memo.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to make individual Pesterchum names for each of these trolls. Kind of fun! Otherwise, Hussie owns these guys. This is just for fun!

**Author's Note:**

> Andrew Hussie owns Homestuck, I just do this for fun and entertainment!


End file.
